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Questions Relevant To May The Fourth

Posted on May 4, 2013 at 11:25 AM
Filed Under: St. Louis Cardinals
A wonderful win by the Cardinals last night, as they use a slew of rookies to put up a 6-1 win.  We'll talk more about that in another post, likely Monday's weekend wrapup.  Also today is the sixth annual UCB Progressive Game Blog, so I'll be back later this afternoon to do the recap of that one as well.

However, May the Fourth has become a grand holiday in the Star Wars universe.  I've not always done something with it--most of my Star Wars/Cardinal matchups have come on Halloween--but every once in a while I'm inspired to take a crack at it.  So, without further adieu, let's get to questions Derrick Goold could ask if he wanted to mix in a little Star Wars into the baseball.  (He's already ruled out the Yoda voice.)

To Mike Matheny: "When Mitchell Boggs was sent out, did he say anything about being more powerful than you could possibly imagine?"

To Matheny: "Has Mike Aldrete ever leaned over when the bullpen comes in and said he's analyzed their attack, there is a danger, and should he have your car standing by to avoid the media?"

To Daniel Descalso: "Aren't you a little short for a second baseman?  Oh, wait, I guess that's kinda part of the job."

To Derek Lilliquist: "Are there times when you look at the bullpen and think you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy?"

To Adam Wainwright: "Those pitches, too accurate for normal starters.  Only ace pitchers are that precise, don't you think?"

To Matheny: "Do you ever call the bullpen and they answer with 'we've had a reactor leak, give us a few minutes to lock it down'?"

To John Mozeliak: "Is it true you recently called Chris Carpenter and said, 'Help me, Chris, you're my only hope?'"

To Matheny: "Who's the more foolish?  The fool, or the fool who follows the fool when the first fool has put two on and nobody out?"

To Mozeliak: "When they do the surgery on the scruffy-looking nerf-herder, they aren't touching the beard, right?

To Matheny: "Even with the recent moves, do you get the feeling that this bullpen might not be entirely stable?"

And if the players wanted to get involved, perhaps they would answer some other questions like this.....

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good split by your side"--Edward Mujica

"Someone has to save our skins.  Into the garbage chute, flyboy."--Carlos Martinez

"The curveball can have a strong influence on the weak-minded."--Adam Wainwright

"Adventure. Heh. Excitement. Heh. A reliever craves not these things."--Trevor Rosenthal

"Do. Or do not. There is no try, as we proved with Boggs."--Matheny

Enjoy today's game.  With Wainwright on the mound, there should be no reason to utter, "I have a bad feeling about this."  May the Force be with you!

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Cardinal Nation Approval Ratings (March 2013)
Yadier Molina 96.2% (up 8.8%)
Chris Carpenter 89.8% (down 0.3%)
Derrick Goold 89.1% (up 6.3%)
Matt Holliday 88.4% (up 0.9%)
Allen Craig 88.3%
Adam Wainwright 88.2% (down 3.7%)
Jose Oquendo 87.1% (up 2.4%)
Jason Motte 86.9%
John Mozeliak 86.5% (up 1.1%)
United Cardinal Bloggers 85.2% (up 6.3%)
Bill DeWitt 85.1% (up 5.3%)
Mike Shannon 85.1% (down 0.2%)
John Rooney 84.5% (up 3.0%)
Mike Matheny 84.4% (up 3.3%)
David Freese 82.9% (down 2.6%)
Jon Jay 81.8% (up 10.7%)
Lance Berkman 80.6% (down 8.0%)
Jenifer Langosch 79.5%
Lance Lynn 79.5%
Dan McLaughlin 76.0% (up 8.0%)
Jim Hayes 73.0% (up 1.1%)
Ricky Horton 65.5% (down 2.0%)
Jaime Garcia 64.1%
Albert Pujols 59.2% (up 4.3%)
Ballpark Village 58.3%
Joe Strauss 54.3% (down 13.4%)

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Skip Schumaker 73.3% (up 9.2%)
B.J. Rains 69.5% (down 0.9%)
Kyle Lohse 68.9% (up 13.8%)
Al Hrabosky 66.4% (up 3.2%)
Colby Rasmus 46.5% (down 35.3%)

Dave Duncan 87.9% (up 0.9%)
Matthew Leach 85.5%
Pop Warner 76.7%
Ryan Franklin 72.8% (up 3.1%)
John Vuch 68.9%
Jeff Luhnow 66.4%
Dan Lozano 58.7%

Rick Ankiel 83.9%
Chris Duncan 69.1%

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